Archive | July 2014

Beyond the Miles

Souls like the wings
Spreading out away from bad memories
Make us capable of taking off and landing
Alive with understanding

The steady rhythm of shoes hitting the pavement. My mind is clear from the past. Dwelling when life was a ship going down has made me feel as though I was still sinking. Pull the anchor of bad memories and sail on…. 

One little song
Give me strength to the leave the sad and the wrong
Bury safely in the past where I’ve been living
Alive but unforgiving

The miles weaken my knees and strengthen my mind. A pool eases my muscles. Conversations help me bury it safely in the past where the past should be.

One little girl
Bring me life from where I thought it was dark
Be the spark that has a chance to light the candle
Love that I can handle

During those moments where I dwell in doubt the pavement brings me hope. When the doubt returns I lie awake… My son holds my hand in his sleep and says “I love you Mom… ” Unable to sleep I walk in the dark and find more hope from what our little girl left on the floor…

They bring me life from where I thought it was dark. 

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Love that I can handle… 

When the song reaches the chorus. I cry nearly every time. Pull the anchor and sail on away from bad memories… 

Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go 

Change this way of living… anchors up. 

Souls Like the Wheels – Avett Brothers

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Fabulous Fourteen

My life is about to do a topsy turvy switch-a-roo- in the most technical terms of course! My business closes in 14 days and I’ve had some fabulous thoughts this week to outweigh the anxiety of the forthcoming change.

Positive Thoughts

#1 – My friend CC and I made it through the last four years. We made an agreement with the daycare- for the most part we stuck to it. We enjoyed each others children along the way and we are closer now than ever. Love ya- CC! 

#2 – The weather has been so extraordinarily beautiful this week. We’ve spent multiple hours a day outside. We are loving it!

#3 – Technology is wonderful. Even though one of my little pumpkins moved hours away it made me super happy to get to facetime with her. She even read us a story and Maggie read her one too. Love my KatKat. 

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#4 – In all this change and craziness around here John has watched the kids so I could run in the morning. I needed to clear my head for sure. 

#5 – I have two fabulous people in my life that celebrated their anniversary this last week. Their company, hospitality, and giving of their time has been a blessing. Happy 1st anniversary, R&R!

#6 – I got some books a few weeks ago and I’ve delved right in… my life since having kids has caused me to not be able to focus in too many books. It’s nice to just shut it all out and go somewhere else between the printed lines of a good book. 

#7 – Alden let me cut his amazing mane. He really hates getting his hair cut… it’s one of those things that he just despises having to have done. He looks so strikingly different… that was a lot of thick red hair. The duck lips I assure you was him mid sentence… not what one could assume. 

alden duck lips

#8 – Money will be tight in the coming weeks, but after looking over our finances as long as we don’t do anything too crazy we will have just enough.

#9 – Maggie has become quite the little acrobat on the new swing set and Alden is super proud he can pump his legs and go very high.  It’s fun to watch them be physically active a good portion of the day.

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#10 – I am totally stoked for tomorrow. I’m taking a train to a town a few hours away to meet up with two of my college roommates to wreak some havoc at some Virginia wineries. I don’t have to take the train, but it keeps me from driving home alone late at night. I am looking forward to the alone time and then some sweet sweet company with dear friends. 

#11 – That whole idea of you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. My friend who moved away recently… I’m pretty sure she misses me as much as I miss her. It’s depressing really, but the positive thought is that it feels oddly good to be missed by someone. 

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#12 – My friend CL and I got to talk this week. I have missed our long talks…. such a dear dear friend. So often we get lost in random texts it’s nice to just commit to a long phone conversation.

#13 – Thanks to R- my new motto of other people’s drama is not really my own. In real life my own home is filled with quiet and peace… especially after the kids go to bed! Once the door is shut to everyone else’s drama it’s a calm calm sea over here.

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#14 – I stayed home to be with my children these last four years. This time is coming to an end for me. Many days during the daycare nap Maggie curls up in my lap and I hold her and rock her until she falls asleep. I could be annoyed or think I’m spoiling her since she’s almost five, but all I really want to do is soak it all in until I’m completely saturated with motherhood. Maggie is a wonderfully polite and kind person and I am glad I was here with her for the last four years. Alden has really enjoyed reading and minecrafting this summer. He’s funny and quirky… I will miss helping him with his homework and seeing his cute little face when he walks home from school. My kids love each other… sure they drive each other crazy and there are times when I wonder if they are killing each other in the backseat…. At the end of the day they adore each other. 

maggie and Luke aj snuggle buddies

A Day Together and Never Turning on the Radio

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I found him whom my soul loveth. I held him and would not let him go… Song of Solomon

Some say a soulmate never tires of holding your hand. A soulmate isn’t completely the same, but they have the same core beliefs and values. It is someone you cannot imagine your life without. Someone who knows what you’re thinking without having to say a word. They make you feel safe and secure.

Here is my not so Dear John-

Dear John letter,

While walking along a path we were holding hands and I could see a woman staring at us. She looked at us longingly while picking up her pace she reached out for her partner’s hand. He took her hand and they walked on down the path and she smiled leaning into him. I’m always happy to hold your hand… in the car… in the sanctuary… on a walk… in a store… even while you sleep.

We are so very different in our abilities and talents, but we are so much the same. There is no debate of political ideals or religious beliefs. There is no dispute over raising our children. Maybe it’s because we’ve been together for twenty years, but even when we were in high school I simply could not imagine my life without you in it. I can feel it in your shoulders and see it in your expressions… you can hear it in my breathing or see it in my brow when something is wrong even in the slightest of difficulties. I know it in your twinges and the patterns of your breath when you are starting to fall asleep next to me. In all the difficulties and triumphs of my life I have reached out for your voice and your embrace. You have brought me such peace. I know that little curve of your shoulder where I place my head every night to fall asleep was carved out just for me.

I look into your deep blue eyes and I know the truth. I can imagine my life traveling to many places. I can imagine my life with more money or less money. I can imagine my life with more activity or less…. I can imagine it any way, but without you.

I found who my soul loves. I will hold you and not let go – there will always be room on my door for two and it will still float. 

XOXO – Porgy

11 Stops on Rt. 11 for #11

We made an interesting trip yesterday for our 11th wedding anniversary. We had many people do a double take when we said we were out for our 11th anniversary. We were 22 and 23 when we married. In today’s terms I suppose that’s rather young or maybe we look young…. shoot maybe we are young for being married 11 years. 

Stop #1 – My friend Crystal insisted that if she was watching the kids for us for the day we had to stop at 52 Weeks of Romance for our anniversary. It’s an adult novelty store. I wont show you pictures on this one… leave it to your own imagination. We had a funny time and giggled a lot. I tried on lots of outfits. I haven’t tried on any lingerie since my surgery…. before then nothing fit. It was entertaining to find some things were too big. That’s never happened before.

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Stop #2 –  We stopped at Happy’s which is a local flea market. I’m sure in its prime was awesome- now it’s just sketchy. We grabbed some guitar strings and managed a sunburn while we were there. John played a banjo for a bit. He still makes his guitar face even on a banjo… not sure why we were expecting  a different face.

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Stop #3 – Lunch at a local Mexican restaurant called Alejandro’s.

We managed to laugh at each other’s funny faces.

IMG_6519This is my “Oh my -there was a hidden jalapeno in there!!!” While John is just laughing making me freeze to take pictures… Steam is coming out of my ears!

It’s okay he followed it by getting brain freeze so I made sure I took an equally lovely picture of him. IMG_6460

Stop #4 – Apple Barn II in Troutville, Virginia. This is a little shop with collectables and candles. We grabbed a few candles and a birthday present for Maggie.

IMG_6469 This was one of our favorite stops because the clerk at the store was just a super nice person and had such wonderful hospitality.

Stop #5 – Fincastle Winery – We did a wine tasting. My favorite was their Hybrid Vigor and John’s was a buttery tasting Chardonnay. We bought a glass and sat in the shade of the wrap around porch in some super comfy white rocking chairs and enjoyed their sweet dog Max. We bought a bottle of each one for Crystal and one for us.  IMG_6474 IMG_6478 IMG_6477 IMG_6521

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Stop #6 – Purgatory Emporium in Buchanan, Virginia. It’s this cute little antique shop named after the large and dangerous mountain nearby coined Purgatory Mountain. We got a cute wine rack and some blackberry preserves made in another nearby town. Blackberry preserves are my absolute favorite.

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Stop #7 – Buchanan Grill- We stopped and got a scoop of ice cream which really was like four scoops of ice cream. Just an FYI- Both stop 6 and 7 take cash only, but there is an ATM nearby.

IMG_6486 IMG_6482 Our favorite ice creams- butter pecan and mint chocolate chip. Yum. It’s an old school diner style place… very quaint.

Stop #8 – Natural Bridge one of the Natural Wonders of the World. I hadn’t been there since kindergarten and John hadn’t been there since he was a child. It is breath taking and it was agreed upon as our favorite stop. I ran into a childhood friend and her mother while I was there. It was quiet and peaceful in the nature. I enjoyed walking along with John taking it all in. Finding a turkey was just extra perks.

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Stop #9 – Foam Henge – It’s this hilarious thing right up the road from the Natural Bridge where someone took the time and money to make a foam replica of Stone Henge. We enjoyed it, but we were glad it was free too.

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Stop#10 – Swinging Bridge in Buchanan, Virginia. I’m afraid of heights over water… but I managed to make it halfway to halfway across. Yeah that’s only a fourth…. shh let’s not talk about it.

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Stop #11 – Lew’s Restaurant. We stopped for a drink and a basket of fries before picking up the kids. At this point we were sunburned and tired.

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Overall we had a lovely day and without Crystal and her family it would not have been possible. I’m so glad that we can spend such wonderful time together and enjoy the company of each other. Our kids climbed in the car and asked us to turn on radio and we realized we had left it off all day and had talked to each other all day with no noise at all. Maybe that’s simply what we needed some R and R and each other.