This last month has just been simply crazy for me. I have lacked focus and time to write. It has been a few weeks since my last post. So I will make a list of what’s going on in my world.
1. My husband was gone for two weeks out of four. I am terrible when he is gone. What people think about it and have said vocally are things like- You need to find your own identity…. You rely too much on him…. You have to figure out how to be alone… So here is what I think. I adore my husband and am deeply in love with him. Until I am alone I have no desire to know how to live and be alone. We have been together for nearly 20 years. In that time we attended school and even took classes together. We went to college near each other and spoke every day and saw each other nearly every weekend. We graduated from college in May and we were married the following July. Then we worked together at a local theater and then in the local school system together as well. Then we had children and he was my rock during my exhausting and painful pregnancies. He has been an amazing person in my life and it is so hard to not have him with me. I was perfectly fine the first week other than something always goes wrong when he’s gone…. Always. Like the gate broke, the dogs got out and I threw out my back. That kind of wrong. The second week I was fine until the very last day and I simply could not take it anymore. Emotionally I was a wreck. I was sooo ready for him to come home. I didn’t sleep and I cried at the thought of him or when someone said his name. He is truly my very best friend and I’m still in that phase where I’m so glad he’s home that I can’t squeeze him enough.
2. Running has been very rewarding and yet far and few between. I bruised/blistered my toe. It sucked and I will likely lose the nail. I bought nice bigger running shoes since then as I gather that was the initial problem. My ankle has been bothering me and the chiropractor has helped with that. My ankle is locking up and it feels like a sprain sometimes. It’s a backwards step. I haven’t been able to run as much due to John being out of town and due to some other things. I did get to ten miles though and that was an amazing feeling. Not too many people can say they have done that and I actually enjoyed it. I’ve realized that once I get to mile six my mind finally becomes clear and I feel at peace with whatever my mind was processing. It is my therapy.
3. I have a job lined up for next year. I signed the contract last week and I am really excited about where I will be working. I am relieved and blessed by all the things that are coming my way.
4. Our daughter graduated from preschool. Maggie is so adorable and loves to sing these days… mostly songs from Frozen. At school during her graduation though she sang a few songs and signed ASL along with the music. I held it together until she started singing “God Is So Good.”
5. We camped as we always do for Memorial Day weekend with our friends at a place called Daddy Rabbit Campground in Willis, VA. It was a lot of fun. This time we didn’t feel the need to entertain the children as much. The girls spent a good half hour in one spot looking at a few bugs. I just relaxed and slept a lot.
6. After camping I stayed tired… really tired. I tried to run Monday and I just didn’t have it in me. Tuesday I started getting knots around my ear and within a few hours I had five knots and then my whole face was swollen. I had a terrible terrible infection and luckily I was swift in motion and reacted to it. I’m on three antibiotics and the first three days I was icing my face constantly and taking pain medications. The infection was so hot my skin is peeling now. My face is still a little lopsided, but I am doing so much better.
7. Our son finished second grade. I can’t believe my sweet little baby Alden is a third grader. Every year I feel older. Every year I feel amazed that he’s grown so much. This year he went through some testing for his abilities, but he lacks dedication to tasks. He’s really really smart…. also lazy. I mean extremely lazy. The combination of those two things leaves him not going into the gifted program… which is fine by me. I could have him retested and put up a fight, but for now I’m not interested in it. We’re going to give him another year to mature. He has no business being in a gifted program being so lazy.
8. One of my girls that I watch moved away. I kept her from the time she was a wee little babe until she was three and a half. I was so busy with everything else. So busy with John being gone. So busy with camping… so busy being sick that it really didn’t hit me until I packed up her belongings on the last day. We just snuggled and I cried for a while. I will miss her so very much.
9. The daycare closes in less than 60 days. We are getting everything together for this process. This is not easy to do and it takes a lot of work on my part to organize and plan. I’m just simply overwhelmed by the house and by all the things I have to do. It would help if I could go run and clear my mind. It would help if I could just stop for a little bit and just do nothing.
10. We spent last weekend cleaning out the final things at Granny’s house- John’s grandmother. It was hard saying goodbye. Granny loved John… I mean absolutely adored my husband. They were close. Her name was Agnes Marie. She told me she absolutely hated her name. She went by Aggie. Our daughter has an adapted name from Aggie’s. She is Maggie Marie. Maggie is named after a very special person to us and even though Aggie passed a few years ago this was our final toast to their family home.
So given all that information. I must say I need a long nap and break from the madness. I would like some calm please. This isn’t all that I have been juggling there is more. This is obviously a short short list.