Many of my friends say their husbands gripe every time they leave for the weekend. Ladies get a bad reputation for having their husbands ask if they can leave for the weekend or wanting to know what they are doing. Behind the closed doors though men are griping because they don’t get to get away- Selfishly pouting because they never get to go… but they don’t and wont plan it. I refuse to plan it for John, but if he wants to go he can go on.
We realize that your biggest problem is that you are by nature probably not a planner, but we aren’t planning this one. So here are a few tips from the ladies on planning a guys weekend.
1. If you don’t have friends to go with or you wouldn’t even know who to invite- this is not our fault. Ask other men if they would be interested. Work friends- people from church- other dads- your old college roommate- cousins- brothers … seriously you can’t think of anyone? Then communicate! Remember to not invite people that already get on your nerves. Don’t invite too many- 4 to 6 people is a reasonable size.
2. Compare calendars with each other and find dates that work for all of you and give a list to your spouses, be flexible with each other and your spouses. Don’t figure out what you are doing yet- pick the date first the what you are doing can come later.
3. We realize you will probably drink too much and smoke cigars, but no strippers really… don’t do it. Your wife wont like it trust me. So lay that out now before some of the other folks get away and deviate from what you can live with. The ladies also realize that guys weekends have a bad reputation (yeah those friends of friends of yours that say in front of everyone that they will take something to the grave instead of spill the beans on what so-in-so did one weekend and how if his wife finds out it would be bad.) Don’t do anything you wouldn’t share with your spouse- it doesn’t have to be worthy to share with everyone. Your spouse though gets a special pass on this one. It’s probably something like this guy in my example got drunk vomited everywhere and sharted in his pants, but seriously it sounds really bad when you say it like that- you look like asses.
4. Set a budget for yourself so you can say what you can and cannot do. Make sure this is okay with your spouse- this is a fair discussion topic. Be realistic- you have bills to pay. Factor in your budget your own bed- now I say go cheap, but wouldn’t it be awesome if you got to sleep in at least a full sized bed not a cot and not sharing with anyone else? Our house it’s always some kid or some four legged pet annoying the crap out of John to get up and if I were him I’d want to be alone.
5. Come up with a list of things that could work on the established date from all attending. Some people may be too busy to contribute but let them go along for the ride still. A baseball game? A cabin by a lake? Golfing package? River Tubing? Camping and hiking? Concerts? Does it fit within everyones budget and on that selected weekend? Don’t be so set on exactly what you want to do that you can’t be flexible listening to everyone else’s ideas. This is best communicated through e-mail- send links so everyone knows what you are talking about. The cheaper the better in most cases unless you are going to go cross some major bucket list items off in which case sure take a flight or pay for that instructor fee for TreeTop Canopy tours.
6. Once you have narrowed it down by date, budget, and what you are doing start deciding things like travel- tickets- hotels or other accommodations.
7. Find cool places to eat- drink and play nearby- seriously don’t go to New Orleans and eat at Wendy’s. Not naming any names here, but yes that’s a real example.
8. Thank your spouse repeatedly for how awesome this is and help them prepare in the days leading up to it. Give them a night out before you leave so they don’t feel overwhelmed. Run errands to take the pressure off of them.
9. Go have fun and when you return unpack your suitcase and wash up your dirty laundry funk on your own.
10. Give your wife a turn at getting away and remember not to give each other flack about it. It’s not about being away. It’s about being alone. It’s not selfish to want to be alone. It’s selfish to not return the favor and blow the set budget. It’s not selfish to take care of you from time to time.