I said to a friend the other day that I am simply not the person I was six months to a year ago. It is hard to get aboard this new vessel called “Change”. Not everyone wants to stand on the shore and wave as I take off on my voyage. Actually, some are getting irritated with my leaving. Some would rather I get on their vessel called “Take My Way. It’s Better”.
This same friend told me that people will come and people will go and that’s just part of the ride of life. Some people would rather have the old me around instead of the new me the more calm, quiet, reserved friend and also self conscious and unhappy. It’s the friends that accept that change and wave at me as I go or the other ones that get on the boat with me that are fun to have around. Also just having this glorious boat called “Change” around has created new friendships and relationships. Regardless of the change and how it has changed me in positive ways… I am busy in ways that I want to be busy. Happy in ways that I want to be happy. The real friends the ones that love you will be happy to see you go.
I have just realized that some would rather me be docked on a ship called “Stay the Course” but I wont stay the way it was, because that wasn’t the right thing to do for me. I have spent a lot of time in an unhappy place and I’m unwilling to stay there dwelling with the muck that I was surrounded by and John says maybe they are doing you a favor by making this difficult. Why most certainly, by pointing out the obvious reasons for my need to change certain folks will stay docked where I was and I’m gonna just have to leave them behind. It’s nothing personal, but you either wave me goodbye or jump on the boat and go along. I refuse to get aboard the “Debbie Downer” cruise and involve myself with those who have nothing positive to say or are unwilling to come aboard “Change”.
I’d rather get along having fun so I’ve been surrounding myself with fun and activity. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and my husbands friends were there. I have to bring my more going out self to really fit in with them. They are loud, silly and energetic and the old me would have struggled with this. My self consciousness would take over and melt under their boisterous personalities and I would keep my distance. We were dancing at the reception and by we I mean yes me and them dancing. The old me would have sat at a table and wished I had the guts to dance or the physical ability to do so because of my hips.
I have known most of them for 5 to 10 years. This was the first time I have ever got up and danced with them or had the stamina to play along for longer than a song or two. I’m sure some of them, that haven’t really followed my blog, felt surprised by the arrival in my boat called “Change”. I had a blast. I’m not brave enough yet to sing karaoke as my friend Crystal realized last night, but I am brave enough to dance and I will take it as a baby step and have fun.
Plato said, “People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.”