Hyperextended Motherhood

My seven year old said the other day- “Don’t worry I got this.” I thought – Where in the world did he hear that and with such emphasis ???? It only took me a few minutes to realize it’s a phrase I use quite often.

In college my professor got onto me for saying “okay” in response to everything and I just simply could not stop. A guy I went to school with would say “basically” at the beginning of any explanation. Secretly, my husband and I play drinking games when certain folks are around and have a sip whenever they say the token item that they frequently repeat multiple times in any given conversation. As adults, we get stuck in our ability to change our conversational dialogue and find a comfortable place and hit repeat.

In this instance, it really fit the bill to define myself. I constantly say and do the “Don’t worry… I’ve got this” statement in my life. I’m in a constant juggling act with not too many chances to delegate the tasks. I can multitask my way through most days with ease. If you don’t know me- I currently watch 4 girls 3 and under while having a 3 year old daughter and a seven year old son- an 11 year old geriatric dog- a 3 year old cat- 4 fish- and a very hyper and somewhat destructive 9 month old puppy. I think in all fairness, I should add a forgetful and busy husband. I work 11 hour days five days a week. There are moments where I throw one too many balls into my act and I drop several and find myself still juggling with one hand several things and trying to pick up the other ones very quickly. I am simply a work at home and a stay at home mom/wife- a master at multitasking. Because of all of this “training” in motherhood I am contacted almost daily regarding childcare- education-breastfeeding-fertility-parenting-marriage and many other things. I am active in my church and take courses to keep my teaching license up to date. Also, a master at peeling bananas. I often- very often – hear, “April, I just don’t know how you do it.”

But I’m not perfect. I lose my patience from time to time… Count to ten and have myself a little tantrum before I can move on. Many days I miss spots wiping off the faces of multiple children. The floors don’t get mopped as often as they should and I forget to feed the fish. Whatever is screaming the loudest gets my attention and the poor fish are underdeveloped for my home. Many say- “Your house is a home it looks like it is lived in”, because it is very actively lived in. I have 3 sets of parents in and out every day… 3 animals in and out every day…. my two off to school most days… Imagine the dishes… imagine making at least 5 meals a day… the laundry… I also recognize that my porch is a hot mess… there are piles of unorganized clutter everywhere inside the house…. it is what it is and it’s not what it is not. Most people, especially mothers or mother like figures, walk into my home without judging me, but instead leave impressed with my ability to stay afloat.

I am overwhelmed, but I am doing what I want to for now. I am my own boss. I am very proud that I am able to maintain all of these things. Very proud of the progress of the children, the job that I do and my marriage. I wont do this forever… I never intended to and so my daycare juggling act will end in the next year and I will move on to other activities to juggle.

Another statement that is probably the most true about me is “I’m doing the best that I can.” If you ever hear me say it, please tip your glass for my repetitious dialogue and my glass will meet yours.

~ April ~

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